Would it be the same?

Hello again. Are you all waiting my new update? It’s been a long time since I updated the last time. So many things to do in the last 5 month and I got busy all the time. Never think this situation would be the part of my life. I have no option to move from Java to Sumatera in just 2 weeks. And I did this.

I remembered, in the last week of April, I got “the most shocking news I had so far”. Tuesday night, still on campus after a presentation about Administration System of Indonesia and suddenly got a lot notification. Tried not too care about those notif but bothered me. So I opened my phone and speechless.  When my friend talked to me, I didn’t hear anything she talked, and keep my head down to my phone. Looked for my name repeatedly and found the same result.

I had to move to West Sumatera. The place I never thought before.

It was a long night I spend. I cried along the night with messy mind. All the people around me tried to entertain me, but I knew it was useless. Dazed. What I have to do? Could I survive this? Should I go? Kinda a strange feels when all at once I had to leave my comfort zone. The place I dreamt to living. The city I lived almost 4 years. I just felt I wasn’t really ready to bear it. Depok to Padang.

Why it happened to me? Why did it feel so complicated? And all I wanted to do that time is kill the mixed feeling. I was disappointed, frustrated, resentful, downhearted, depressed, and all of unpleasant feeling you could give to me. I was afraid to go. I couldn’t face that reality at the first. Until I felt too tired to cry and realized that I couldn’t stuck at this condition.

But, life is about choice. I packed all my stuffs in just 2 weeks. Sadly said goodbye with the city and all my friends there. I made so many memories there and all of a sudden I had to leave that city. I cried a lot behind the door in my room. And wish nobody knew. Until the last day before I go, I still met my besties, ate the food I want to ate, felt the rain, strolled around margonda and UI, and the saddest thing: I submitted my campus resignation.

Sometimes, leaving everything behind is the only option. It’s not an act of cowardice or surrender. People who choose to pack their bags and look towards the horizon are truly brave. Because ultimately, L have to get out and start somewhere new. It simply means transforming myself, integrating my past, present, and desire for the future.

When i leave everything i know behind, I will get to know yourself on entirely different level (all that alone time, y’know?). I will be intentional with friendships. I will miss what I used to call home. I will call home. I will explore and open yourself up. I will adapt then survive. I will feel lost and wonder when this place will stop feeling like a vacation. I will realize that everything I left behind is really everything that made I who I am today and I will keep those people and those places in the safest space of my heart where they can never get hurt.

I found these all photos have been taken there.

 

 

 

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